Hi everyone!! I hope this finds you well. Every once in a while my mind gets restless and actually pumps out something creative. These things range from being funny to serious, informative to silly, and educational to just plain ole crazy. This one is Funny, Silly and Crazy. This is an original poem written by yours truly. I hope you enjoy it and learn the valuable lesson that it teaches. On another note, 99.9% of the things I blog about are completely true, things that really did happen. This little piece falls in the .1%. This is NOT a true story.
I wake up and rub my eyes
To suddenly realize
That I'm not alone in this place.
I try to focus as I look at the floor.
I try to remember the night before.
When a pretty red bra catches my gaze.
Now I'm smiling as I get flashbacks.
My mind begins to trace my tracks
And I know exactly what happened here last night.
I remember the headboard banging the wall
And I remember we made the lamp fall.
Seems like I should remember who she is, Right?
Empty bottles and shot glasses laying around
And I remember putting a few down
And I remember texting every girl in my contacts.
I remember pinning her to the wall
And from there to the floor and all
And I remember she was like a pack of wildcats.
I remember her legs up by her head
And I remember that we broke my bed
And I remember thinking she'd been asking for what she got.
I don't remember the color of her hair.
Her name? I don't even care.
I do remember thinking that she was sexy and hot.
So as I lay there staring at a shot glass.
I thought I'll start this again by grabbing her a**
But boy did I get a HUGE surprise.
It wasn't nice and rounded,
It's not what I thought I pounded.
This butt was BIG, FAT and WIDE.
I jerked my hand back really quick
I looked down and apologized to my d***
And thought OMG why am I so dumb.
Looked back at that bra, so pretty and red
And all the blood rushed from my head.
I know that bra, it belongs to my mum.
D. H.
Hahaha thats scary! Your mum hahaha!
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