Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat.....????????

First of all let me give you the short answer, No they do not.....   It's the two layered muffin top that's hanging over your pants that makes you look fat or the fact that your thighs roll down over your knee caps making your legs look like an uncircumcised penis.  When a woman ask you a question like this it is a set up.  Now understand I am not thin and in shape myself but I don't go around asking people do I look fat.  I would not do that to myself.  I know I look fat.  Anyway, you can not answer these questions safely or correctly.  Women will tell you, "do not let me go out looking bad, if something looks wrong with what I'm wearing or if something looks wrong with my hair then let me know."  DO NOT FALL FOR THIS IT IS A LIE.  If you tell them something is wrong then they completely flip out on you.  That is not what they want to hear at all.  They want you to lie to them.  They say, "don't lie to me, always be honest, I want to hear the truth."  WRONG!!!!!!!!!  A girl ask me just today, "does my hair look bad."  I said, "no it looks good."  She said, "are you sure because I didn't really do anything to it."  I said, "well it looks alright but not as good as it does on other days."  She said, "what does that mean."  I said, "well you are about at 85% today."  She said, "I can't believe you said that to me."  I said, "I didn't mean anything hurtful by it, I was just letting you know the truth, isn't that what you want."  She said, "no you are always supposed to think I'm beautiful."  I said, "well I do I just think your hair don't look as good today as it normally does." 

My point is, gentlemen, that if your wife or partner or friend or whatever she may be looks like a swollen up toad with down syndrome you tell her that she is the most beautiful creature that you have ever laid eyes on.  That she is at an absolute 110% everyday no matter what she looks like or how she feels, if you plan on keeping a happy and satisfying relationship with them.  Note:  if she does look like a swollen up toad with down syndrome you might wanna start looking for somebody else or start looking in the mirror because you are with her for a reason.


In the words of Ludacris, "Who let these Ho's in my room."

Here is a complaint for ya!!!!!

Hello everyone sorry it has been so long since my last post.  I have a topic today that is very interesting to me and I hope it is food for thought for you.  I first want to say that this is in no way pointed at anyone directly.  This is a thought that I have and if you know me I over rationalize thoughts continuely.  I have panic disorder and with that comes the curse or gift of having compulsive and obsessive thoughts.  So excuse me while over analyze and over think and go completely off about this subject.

Having said all of that this is the subject:  Toilet Seat Duty:  Who does it belong to?
Now back several decades ago, I am not good with my dates in history so no exact times will be given, women burned their bras and fought for the freedom to be considered as equals to men.  Now this is a subject that I completely agree with.  One of the main things that women fought for equality in was being able to visit court rooms and be jury members of large trials.  Now the reason they were not allowed to do this at that time was because husbands considered their wives to be delicate beautiful flowers and did not want to expose them to the gruesome testimonies of murders and rapes.  However, in fighting for this right women were actually saying, "I do not want you to look at me as being delicate and beautiful, I want you to see me as an equal."  Ladies let me just stop and say right here, "BIG MISTAKE."  I believe in equality but what women were asking for was for men to stop viewing them as the beautiful, exquisite, pure, lady creatures that God had made and ask us to view them in the same way we view other men.  Now as exagerrated as this may seem ladies you have to agree that to some degree this is very true.  Even on the job I have to view a woman as a co-worker just as I would view another man.  Now the only problem I have with this is that I don't want to I want to view you in the way that God intended me to view you.  As the beauty of God's hands, the supporter and help mate that God created you to be, the person I come home to and find solace in at the end of a hard day's work, the person God made for me to protect and to provide for, the longing of my heart and the desiring of my loins, NOT my co-worker.  Thus the need for all the sexual harrassment laws that we have.  LOL.

Now on to the toilet seat problem that I have.  Although, in my own opinion, I would have loved to kept the ladies at home and kept them being something that we upheld as being pure, dainty, delicate, honorable, dependant, admirable, proper, loveable, etc., but I can't continue to look at them like this because they won, they gained thier equality.  Which brings me to the toilet seat because it all hinges on this.  If you want to be equal then we have to discuss this problem that we have.  As a homosapian male standing in front of the toilet seat, it is my duty to raise the seat so that I do not accidentally urinate on it.  In my opinion that is the end of my job, but I hear women saying you didn't put the lid down.  Ok, well put it down yourself.  What I mean is this, I have done half of the work it is up to you, as an equal, to do the other half.  Now I know you are sitting there saying to yourself, "the nerve of that insensitve prick."  It would be a nice thing for me to be sensitive and raise it and lower it, but ladies you didn't fight for sensitivity, you already had that and didn't like it, you fought for equality.  Here is a problem I have had in the past that led me to this thought.  I go in to the bathroom and there is pee already on the seat, I raise it, pee, and then lower it.  A woman goes in behind me and sits in the pee that was already there and accusses me of not raising the seat and peeing on it.  So if I leave the seat raised then you know that I have done what I said I would do, which is my half of the work.  Another question I have is what is the big deal anyway.  Do you not see that the lid is raised before you sit down and fall in.  I know that you sit on the toilet  but do you walk all the way to it backwards with your butt hanging out, because in my mind you walk toward the toilet seat forward so you can easily look at it and put it down before you set on it.  Another thing if I have to lower the seat for you to sit on then you should have to raise it when you are done so that I don't pee on it. 

I know that this is irrationale and crazy to you but this is where it all begins.  If I don't share equality in this with you then I feel like I have the right not to share it with you in other things.  You are misleading me.  Do not think I'm a sexist or a bigot because I am not.  I have had women bosses which I regarded and still do with the upmost respect, I have a woman pastor in whom I think is the best pastor in the world, and I give all women that I know, especially those out there doing it on there own, a great amount of respect and reverence.  I'm just saying stop crying about how bad you got it and how horrible your life is, because nobody is going to do anything for you out there you have to make it on your own.  It is the product of the decision that your fore-mothers made a long time ago.


In the words of Tupac, "I ain't mad ya."

number 2

Alright, what's up everyone I hope you enjoyed last weeks introduction.  Today will be the first real story about me and I'm gonna start by telling you a little about my childhood.  This may help you to understand where some of my beliefs, behaviors and twisted ideas come from.  HAHA.  So my mom and dad married when they were young.  My father was 19 and my mom was 16 and I was born the next year.  I have a younger brother and sister I will discuss in future post.  My dad was a minister at that time and my mom went to church as well and played the piano and sang.  My dad's mom was also a minister and started her own church in Grover when I was five.  My mom's mom died when my mom was five and her dad was freaking awesome.  He and my mom and her family are from Arkansas.  We went to the church of God until my grandma opened her church and then we started there at Bible Holiness in Grover, NC.  I grew up kinda feeling like everything was a sin and God was always mad at you for messing up.  These ideas come from the old pentacostal church and are not things that we believe now at our church.  But I remember when I was young that some of the older church members would even say, "GO Ahead and keep it up God is gonna git ya."  Well when I grew older and read the bible for myself and really understood it I realized that God is not mad, he is not a hitman, and he is not out to "git ya".  If you didn't grow up in an old school pentacostal church then you probably won't understand what I mean by all that.  Anyway when I was young my dad started drinking and got out of church and progressively got worse.  My mom stayed in church and backed his mom in her ministry and when my grandma got sick, and eventually died, my mom took over as pastor.  The name of the church is now Proclaiming the Word Ministries.  My mom toughed it out and put up with his drinking, womanizing and committing adultry and stayed with my dad for a very long time and they eventually divorced when I was about 15.  The same time that I met my wife to be.  So from all that you can see why half of my blood is Cain's blood and half of my blood is Abel's.  However, I try to be good for the most part, haha.  As a side note I would like to mention that my dad has stopped drinking, smoking and other things and is now back in church and living for God.  I think that is awesome.  He has been an alcoholic for about 30 years now and I am soooooo proud of the change that he has recently made.  I didn't know if it would stick at first but he has done great.  I will tell you the rest of that story in a later post.  I hope this gives you a little insight and keeps you reading.  Better things to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Sorry I can't think of a good quote to go with this one.  LOL!!" 
                                                                    ~Daniel Hoyle~

WHATS UP

Hi everyone, I hope a lot of people made it to this page and I really hope you enjoy the things that you read here.  Here, at least once a week maybe more, you will be able to read stories about my life, my kids, educational junk, psychological junk, theological opinions and research, bible discussions, random stories about everyday crap, my likes, my dislikes, my hates, my opinions, my sex life, my favorite sexual positions, sexual positions that I made up, and just about anything about me that you do or don't want to know.  LOL.  I promise that it will always be interesting, humorous, serious, uplifting, depressing, corny, sexy, lovely, erotic, neuratic, exotic, exciting, appauling, and/or explosive.  It can also be any combination of the afore mentioned things at once but I promise you that it will always be something to talk about for the rest of the day.  Having said all that, let me introduce myself to those of you that do not know me.  My name is Daniel Hoyle, I am divorced and have been for about 3 or 4 years, not really keeping count, I have three children that stay with me ALL THE TIME, the oldest is Malachi, 13, the second is Joshua, 12, and the babygirl is Anna-Marie, 9.  I live with my brothers wife and her two girls while he is in prison, I know that sounds funny but get over it.  IT'S A LONG STORY!!!!!!!!!  So there are 7 people in a cramped up three bedroom singlewide, imagine that.  I have worked with adults with developmental disabilities since 2003 and for the last 6 years I worked with them in the vocational rehabilitation field.  I have a bachelors degree in psychology and am working on my Master's in education.  I am currently unemployed and looking for work due to me loosing my job back in June, 2011.  I quit coming to work and they fired me for it.  THE NERVE OF THOSE PEOPLE.  HAHA.  Any way I hope you will come back and read what I post next I promise you will love it.  Have a great day and thanks for checking me out.

In the words of Lil Wayne, "Life's a B**** and imma dance with her"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!