Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat.....????????

First of all let me give you the short answer, No they do not.....   It's the two layered muffin top that's hanging over your pants that makes you look fat or the fact that your thighs roll down over your knee caps making your legs look like an uncircumcised penis.  When a woman ask you a question like this it is a set up.  Now understand I am not thin and in shape myself but I don't go around asking people do I look fat.  I would not do that to myself.  I know I look fat.  Anyway, you can not answer these questions safely or correctly.  Women will tell you, "do not let me go out looking bad, if something looks wrong with what I'm wearing or if something looks wrong with my hair then let me know."  DO NOT FALL FOR THIS IT IS A LIE.  If you tell them something is wrong then they completely flip out on you.  That is not what they want to hear at all.  They want you to lie to them.  They say, "don't lie to me, always be honest, I want to hear the truth."  WRONG!!!!!!!!!  A girl ask me just today, "does my hair look bad."  I said, "no it looks good."  She said, "are you sure because I didn't really do anything to it."  I said, "well it looks alright but not as good as it does on other days."  She said, "what does that mean."  I said, "well you are about at 85% today."  She said, "I can't believe you said that to me."  I said, "I didn't mean anything hurtful by it, I was just letting you know the truth, isn't that what you want."  She said, "no you are always supposed to think I'm beautiful."  I said, "well I do I just think your hair don't look as good today as it normally does." 

My point is, gentlemen, that if your wife or partner or friend or whatever she may be looks like a swollen up toad with down syndrome you tell her that she is the most beautiful creature that you have ever laid eyes on.  That she is at an absolute 110% everyday no matter what she looks like or how she feels, if you plan on keeping a happy and satisfying relationship with them.  Note:  if she does look like a swollen up toad with down syndrome you might wanna start looking for somebody else or start looking in the mirror because you are with her for a reason.


In the words of Ludacris, "Who let these Ho's in my room."